Deep POV - how to write from the best point of view

This is an idea I picked up several years ago which isn’t written about that often.

Having looked at the basics of Point of View (POV) in previous blogs, this one takes things to a higher plane with an added technique that infuses Third Person POV with the intimacy of First Person.

Introduction

Deep POV allows the reader to feel and experience exactly what the characters feel and experience.

The writer must become the character and describe all scenes only as the main character perceives them in order that the reader feels they have become the character.

It does away with many dialogue tags and verbs which suggest stating what the character is doing as opposed to showing.

This mightn’t be for everyone but if you want to try, read on to find out about Deep POV - how to write from the best point of view. How to do it . . .

1: Delete the phrase ‘she/he saw’.

Anytime you put an invisible narrator between the reader and the character, you’ve inserted what experts like to call a Writer’s Intrusion. (Don’t confuse this with Writer’s Infusion which is when you all go to the pub after Writers’ Group!)

In writing Deep, certain distancing words are removed. Phrases like she wondered, she felt, he saw, he wished, are all examples. To write in Deep POV, go through your manuscript looking for lines like this:

·         She saw the lights come on in the kitchen. (Get into your character’s head. What does she see?)

·         He felt a shiver run down his spine.

And change to:

·         The lights came on in the kitchen.

·         A shiver ran down his spine.

Just state the action. The ‘saw’ and ‘felt’ phrases distance the reader. This often applies to other expressions as well, where you’re telling the reader to observe the character interacting with the action.

Isn’t it better to put the reader into the character’s head; doing or feeling it as the character does.

2: What would you say?

Example: Someone points a gun at your character.

You might be tempted to write: She thought he was going to kill her. But remember, you’re going for Deep POV, so . . .

1.       Remove the distancing words, She thought . . .

It then becomes He was going to kill her!

2.       Inside the character’s head, things happen in 1st Person.

In real life if someone pointed a gun at you, your sub-conscious would most likely say: ‘He's going to kill me!’ or ‘I'm gonna die!’

3.       ‘I’m gonna die!’ puts the reader right inside the character’s head whereas the original ‘She thought he was going to kill her.’ leaves the reader as an observer. See the difference?

Technical note: In 3rd Person POV we usually see internal thoughts in italics, but in Deep, that isn’t necessary; the character’s thoughts become one with the story.

3: Don’t label emotions.

This part sometimes involves more words, but, the extra words will add to the readers’ enjoyment by pulling them more deeply into the action. This is classic ‘showing rather than telling.’

Delete from your mind the name we give to an emotion and force yourself to describe it.

What physical movements would show the emotion without naming it?

Example: Anger

·         He felt angry becomes He narrowed his eyes, curled his lip, and restrained his tensed muscles from hurling his fist into the wall.

This is also true when describing the character’s thoughts.

Example: Love

·         He realized he was in love with her becomes He closed his eyes; felt her in his arms. Her perfume made his head spin like the first taste of a fine cognac and filled him with the belief he could do anything if it meant being with her. 

4: Describe Physical responses.

Once you’ve got the reader into the character’s head follow up with physical responses. Depending on the situation, these might be knees buckling, chest tightening, goose bumps, nausea, dizziness, sweating, etc. Describe those. This will really pull the reader deep into the story.

Be careful! You don’t need to spell out everything. Credit your reader has intelligence (they’re reading your book, after all!). Trust that your readers are able to make some logical inferences from the character’s action.

Examples:

·         She nodded in agreement. Nodding implies agreement so you don’t need to say it.

·         She frowned with displeasure. Frowning indicates displeasure.

·         He jumped and whooped with glee. Jumping and whooping usually signify glee.

Here’s an example of a slightly longer piece . . .

Before Those eyes radiated happiness like nothing I’d seen before as his mouth spread to a smile as broad as Long Island Sound. Soft lips, gentle lips. I found myself wondering what it would be like to kiss them. Dazed by the fall, I didn’t know what I was thinking. This was Terry!

After Those eyes! Such happiness! And a smile as broad as Long Island Sound. Soft lips, gentle lips. What would they be like to kiss? Terry? What am I thinking?

Like everything I write about, don’t overdo it. Pick the parts which suit your voice, your story, and characters and give it a try.