EDITING A MANUSCRIPT
Recently, a friend asked me to read his new manuscript with a view to recommending any edits, corrections or rewriting. It happens a few times a year and I’m always flattered when someone asks; it suggests they have faith in my ability as a writer to advise them.
So, leaving aside the inevitable typos, what did I find?
I decided to read only the first six chapters which is what an agent or publisher might do. The experts say what they find in those early pages in terms of ‘voice’, capturing the reader’s attention and ability to put words together clearly, is representative of what they’ll find throughout the book.
Initially, I wanted to see if the storyline caught my attention, regardless of editing requirements. In this case, it did. Along the way, whilst I’d noticed where changes could be made, I hadn’t paused to attend to them. Because I’m not a professional editor (which is hugely different to being a writer) I needed to read more. I continued until I’d read ten chapters, about twenty-five thousand words.
I’ll share what I discovered.
FIRST PARAGRAPH, FIRST CHAPTER
This was an excellent ‘action’ introduction, pulling me immediately into the story. After the first few sentences I wanted to know more. A good start. But it could have been even better if the vocabulary, punctuation and sentence length matched the ‘action’.
I gave my friend three pointers . . .
In such an action scene, use active rather than passive sentences.
Look for stronger verbs.
Use shorter sentences to make your action scenes punchier.
KEEP IT TIGHT
In the ten-chapter extract, several hundred words (I didn’t count!) were unnecessary. I recommended . . .
Get rid of surplus words; look for excessive use of and or but, which or that, for example. Better still, get used to not typing them in the first place. Try joining phrases with a comma or semi-colon instead.
Use appropriate contractions; isn’t instead of is not, for example.
DESCRIPTIONS
When I began writing, I was so taken with descriptive language the writing group leader told me to beware ‘The rosy fingers of dawn . . .’ syndrome. I’m sure you can work out what he meant. (. . . crept over the hill top beckoning the wayward sun-yellow clouds following.)
In this story, there were two types of description I felt merited attention so I suggested the following . . .
Beware your fingers taking over your narrative. Can the beautiful description of a scene be altered, reduced or even removed without affecting the chapter? (See above)
Is extreme detail of a setting essential to this chapter or the story? It might help you to have every rock and pothole, fixture and fitting in your mind’s eye but is it necessary to the reader?
SPEAK TO ME
If a reader is to feel what it’s like to be the protagonist, to get inside his or her head,
dialogue is vital. My friend was missing out here so I proposed . . .
Stop telling the reader what the character is going to do or say. For instance:
She threatened him with the gun, saying she would kill him. He told her mockingly she didn’t have the courage to do it as he took a step towards her.
Show it with dialogue:
‘Come any closer, you swine, and I’ll blast a hole in you!’
‘Ha! You? You don’t have the guts.’
‘I said, Don’t. Move!’
END NOTE
So, what’s the message here for you?
As promising as my friend’s story is, it’s still a million miles away from being ready to go out into the world.
Does this apply to your work? You’re proud of the fact you’ve completed your novel, and rightly so – sixty, eighty, ninety-thousand words is no mean feat. But is it publishable?
Who have you given your manuscript to for suggestions or advice – a friend or relation, or another writer? Which will give you the best writing advice? Someone who doesn’t like to hurt your feelings or someone who’s experienced the daily grind of drafting a novel and had the praises and criticisms of a co-writer?
And a final thought. No matter whether you’re publishing traditionally or independently, NEVER say, ‘oh, it’ll do’ or ‘that’s good enough’ until you believe IT REALLY IS THE BEST YOU CAN DO.
Check out my other blogs on EDITING.
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